I'm not the biggest Bon Jovi fan, so I couldn't post this when I was exactly half way there.
Radiation is going well! 4 weeks down, 3 to go. Every Monday I meet with Dr. Eisbruch and this past Monday he asked me if I was losing any hair yet. I responded 'no' as I reached up to touch the buzzed part of my hair from my surgery and brought my hand back with a clump of hair in it. I change my answer to yes. Yes, I am definitely losing hair. I recalled seeing little hairs on my jacket and thinking it was dog hair. I don't have a dog. It was my hair. Whoops. I haven't lost much yet, and hopefully I won't lose much more. Any hair loss will be localized to where they are doing the radiation, so just the hair that is struggling to grow after being shaved twice.
I expected to have more side effects at this point but I hardly have any. I have the slight hair loss and then a sunburn/tan in the area where the radiation hits my skin. So I have a circular tan that covers a bit of my cheek and then most of my neck. It's so obvious to me, but I don't think anyone else will notice it.
This past week I was babysitting and one of the little girls asked me what happened to my neck. I told her I had surgery and she asked why and if I was okay and whatnot. It was so innocent and really quite cute. Kids are so curious and so accepting of the things they find out. She just wanted to make sure that I was okay. It was starkly different from the day I was on BYU campus after my surgery to withdraw from all my classes and take care of other business. The day a random girl stood behind me and asked "What is wrong with your neck?" Not so innocent and non-judgmental and cute. If only we could have the innocence of little children for longer.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
a glimpse into my future?
Ever since I declared myself as a microbiology major my sophomore year of college I have been unsure as to what I would do with my degree. Should I be a dentist? Should I pursue research? While I'm still unsure as to exactly what I want to do, I have more ideas. As of late I have been interested in genetic counseling. I first learned about it last semester in a careers class and it sounded interesting.
I met with a genetic counselor today. Victoria. Because of my age and my type of cancer my oncologist thought it was prudent to check for any genetic conditions that would have caused my cancer. Victoria was pretty wonderful. She first explained that only about 10% of cancers are caused by genetic mutations... but they are checking me just in case. Victoria asked about my family history and constructed my family tree as my mom and I tried to recall all the health issues the dear old Harris family has experienced. She said if I have a genetic condition it is most likely something called Li-Fraumeni syndrome, which is a mutation in gene p53, a tumor suppressor gene. It is a dominant gene so if I have it my siblings and other family members will have to be checked as well. Li-Fraumeni syndrome puts one at a much higher risk to develop cancer. If this is something I have then I will have to be checked for other types of cancer earlier than most people. I most likely don't have this mutation, like I'm nearly 100% sure that I do not, but it is better to be safe and sure. My blood sample is being shipped to California to be tested and hopefully I'll have results in the next month or so. :)
Meeting with Victoria has helped me realize how cool genetic counseling is. You help people and still have to be smart and scientific in your thinking. So... who knows? Perhaps that is where my future lies...
I met with a genetic counselor today. Victoria. Because of my age and my type of cancer my oncologist thought it was prudent to check for any genetic conditions that would have caused my cancer. Victoria was pretty wonderful. She first explained that only about 10% of cancers are caused by genetic mutations... but they are checking me just in case. Victoria asked about my family history and constructed my family tree as my mom and I tried to recall all the health issues the dear old Harris family has experienced. She said if I have a genetic condition it is most likely something called Li-Fraumeni syndrome, which is a mutation in gene p53, a tumor suppressor gene. It is a dominant gene so if I have it my siblings and other family members will have to be checked as well. Li-Fraumeni syndrome puts one at a much higher risk to develop cancer. If this is something I have then I will have to be checked for other types of cancer earlier than most people. I most likely don't have this mutation, like I'm nearly 100% sure that I do not, but it is better to be safe and sure. My blood sample is being shipped to California to be tested and hopefully I'll have results in the next month or so. :)
Meeting with Victoria has helped me realize how cool genetic counseling is. You help people and still have to be smart and scientific in your thinking. So... who knows? Perhaps that is where my future lies...
Monday, April 29, 2013
waffle face
I think my mask has gotten a lot tighter since they made it... or my face has gotten a lot fatter in the last few weeks. I am hoping it is the former, but who really knows?
I just started my third week of radiation. Radiation is... okay... not that bad... a lot better than chemo... but let's be honest, it's no fun.
Everyday I make the 40 minute drive to Ann Arbor. A friend from church has set up a drive schedule for me so most of the days someone from church drives me. Except on Monday, that's when my brother Patrick takes me there. It's been really great thus far because everyday I have the chance to have a good conversation with someone new. It's quite lovely actually.
I get to radiation, sign in, and go get changed. I only have to wear a gown on top so I still get to wear my pants and shoes. There is a waiting room where all the gowned patients wait. My first day I chatted with a couple other people waiting for radiation. I find myself not being very reserved when it comes to cancer. In the waiting room I just asked the various people what kind of cancer they have. I found that as time has gone by I have become less and less coy about it. When I was first at school and getting all those tests done to figure out what was wrong with me I never really said the word 'cancer'. Or if someone asked me how I was I always said fine, even though I was very not fine. As time went by I kind of got tired of trying to protect others, so I just started saying exactly what I was thinking and exactly how I was feeling. I know the exact moment when I lost all coyness. In the bookstore I ran into a friend I used to work with and we chatted for a moment. He asked how I was and I said I'm good, but I have cancer. Whoops. Probably wasn't necessary to tell him like that. Oh well. Since then I have been unabashed with this illness. So nobody else needs to be shy or coy about it with me either.
The radiation techs come fetch me from the waiting room and we go to the treatment room. I lie down on a table and they secure me by putting my mask on and attaching it to the table. They have to secure my shoulders as well. If you can imagine a swing, how it has a board and two chains coming up.. that is similar to what I have to hold. There is a board that my feet are on and the two ropes coming up have handles on them that I hold. It pulls my shoulders down. When my treatment began it was incredibly uncomfortable. I would whine and complain about it acting in general like a big wimp. But now it doesn't bother me so much.
Everyday thus far they have scanned me with a CT scan to make sure I am in the correct positioning... and then the radiation starts. It's really just a couple minutes long, two maximum. Two beeps indicating the radiation is happening, and I'm done. Home until the next day when it starts all over again.
I have been meeting the most incredible people. People who have beaten the most staggering odds. Those that have the greatest outlook on life. It's kind of strange but... it makes me grateful for my own problems, for my own cancer. It's amazing what a bit of perspective can do.
2 done. 5 to go. Then I'm done... at least for a bit.
The tardis gives me a waffle face whenever I wear it.
I just started my third week of radiation. Radiation is... okay... not that bad... a lot better than chemo... but let's be honest, it's no fun.
Everyday I make the 40 minute drive to Ann Arbor. A friend from church has set up a drive schedule for me so most of the days someone from church drives me. Except on Monday, that's when my brother Patrick takes me there. It's been really great thus far because everyday I have the chance to have a good conversation with someone new. It's quite lovely actually.
I get to radiation, sign in, and go get changed. I only have to wear a gown on top so I still get to wear my pants and shoes. There is a waiting room where all the gowned patients wait. My first day I chatted with a couple other people waiting for radiation. I find myself not being very reserved when it comes to cancer. In the waiting room I just asked the various people what kind of cancer they have. I found that as time has gone by I have become less and less coy about it. When I was first at school and getting all those tests done to figure out what was wrong with me I never really said the word 'cancer'. Or if someone asked me how I was I always said fine, even though I was very not fine. As time went by I kind of got tired of trying to protect others, so I just started saying exactly what I was thinking and exactly how I was feeling. I know the exact moment when I lost all coyness. In the bookstore I ran into a friend I used to work with and we chatted for a moment. He asked how I was and I said I'm good, but I have cancer. Whoops. Probably wasn't necessary to tell him like that. Oh well. Since then I have been unabashed with this illness. So nobody else needs to be shy or coy about it with me either.
The radiation techs come fetch me from the waiting room and we go to the treatment room. I lie down on a table and they secure me by putting my mask on and attaching it to the table. They have to secure my shoulders as well. If you can imagine a swing, how it has a board and two chains coming up.. that is similar to what I have to hold. There is a board that my feet are on and the two ropes coming up have handles on them that I hold. It pulls my shoulders down. When my treatment began it was incredibly uncomfortable. I would whine and complain about it acting in general like a big wimp. But now it doesn't bother me so much.
Everyday thus far they have scanned me with a CT scan to make sure I am in the correct positioning... and then the radiation starts. It's really just a couple minutes long, two maximum. Two beeps indicating the radiation is happening, and I'm done. Home until the next day when it starts all over again.
I have been meeting the most incredible people. People who have beaten the most staggering odds. Those that have the greatest outlook on life. It's kind of strange but... it makes me grateful for my own problems, for my own cancer. It's amazing what a bit of perspective can do.
2 done. 5 to go. Then I'm done... at least for a bit.
The tardis gives me a waffle face whenever I wear it.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
unpublished tumor photos
As I wrote in my first post... I didn't know about the bump behind my ear until a doctor pointed it out to me. Which is kind of pitiful because it was a very large bump.
We weren't even in the correct slice of my head. I don't know how we missed the tumor on the right side of this next image. Apparently CT scans and MRI images are backwards. The right side of the image is actually the left side of the head.
Here are a couple old pictures of my pesky bump that have not graced the blogging world.
These two were taken before my surgery in Utah. The 'yes' is there so the surgeons knew they were operating on the correct thing. It would have been pretty disappointing to wake up with a tumor and no tonsils.
I initially got a CT scan. I looked at the disc of the images in my lab and we were all trying to figure out where the tumor was. We concluded it was the white circle on the left side of this picture. We got it wrong...
We weren't even in the correct slice of my head. I don't know how we missed the tumor on the right side of this next image. Apparently CT scans and MRI images are backwards. The right side of the image is actually the left side of the head.
After I got my MRI I remember sitting in my Bacterial Pathogenesis class and staring at the pictures of my tumor on my laptop. I couldn't stop thinking, "What are you?" "What effect are you going to have on my life?" The MRI images were a lot clearer than the CT scans.
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| This is a view from behind. I'm so muscular. |
Well the tumor is gone... and much of the muscle in my neck. On Monday I start radiation for only 7 weeks! Almost there.
Monday, March 25, 2013
the mask
If only this post were about this mask...
Instead it is about my blue mask. Today I was fitted for the mask I am going to wear during radiation. You can't move at all during radiation because many beams are being shot through you and they need to hit very specified areas. For some cases, in order in insure accuracy, the patient is tattooed at the point where the beam will hit. My father had cancer when I was a senior in high school and this is what they did for him. He still has little dot tattoos from when he had radiation. I never expected to get any tattoos, ever. Alas, I will not have to. Instead I get a mask. Today was just my radiation simulation, not the actual radiation, so I am a little foggy on the exact details of the process... Apparently I will lay on a table and my mask will be placed on my face and shoulders, and they will sort of "screw" it into place in the table... so I really can't move at all. Then I will get radiation for like 5-10 minutes. They'll unscrew the mask and I am off on my way. I will do this everyday Monday-Friday for 6-7 weeks. Could be worse.
Today they had me change into a gown and they laid me on a table to get a CT scan. It was unlike any other CT scan I have had before. They taped wire around my flap on my neck so it was clear in the CT scan.
I had to hold on tight to some handles to pull my shoulders down so they had a better shot at my neck. Then they took this warmed blue plastic to mold the mask out of. I had to stay very still while they molded it around my face. It is very tight fitting. Apparently even facial hair messes it up and men have to shave before they can be fitted for their mask.
After the mask hardened they fixed me down, did a quick CT scan, took it off and gave me a tour of the radiation center. Should all be very simple next time I am there.
By the way... I named my mask. It is called 'The Tardis'.
Instead it is about my blue mask. Today I was fitted for the mask I am going to wear during radiation. You can't move at all during radiation because many beams are being shot through you and they need to hit very specified areas. For some cases, in order in insure accuracy, the patient is tattooed at the point where the beam will hit. My father had cancer when I was a senior in high school and this is what they did for him. He still has little dot tattoos from when he had radiation. I never expected to get any tattoos, ever. Alas, I will not have to. Instead I get a mask. Today was just my radiation simulation, not the actual radiation, so I am a little foggy on the exact details of the process... Apparently I will lay on a table and my mask will be placed on my face and shoulders, and they will sort of "screw" it into place in the table... so I really can't move at all. Then I will get radiation for like 5-10 minutes. They'll unscrew the mask and I am off on my way. I will do this everyday Monday-Friday for 6-7 weeks. Could be worse.
Today they had me change into a gown and they laid me on a table to get a CT scan. It was unlike any other CT scan I have had before. They taped wire around my flap on my neck so it was clear in the CT scan.
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| The flap looks really good... right? |
After the mask hardened they fixed me down, did a quick CT scan, took it off and gave me a tour of the radiation center. Should all be very simple next time I am there.
By the way... I named my mask. It is called 'The Tardis'.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
a way to help...
This is a really hard blogpost to write.
It's hard to forgo my pride and address this.
Many want to know how to help me. It's difficult because other than the couple weeks after my surgeries I haven't been ill. I wish it were as easy as chicken noodle soup.
Having and beating cancer is really expensive. I have started working at Dairy Queen again to fund as much as I can... but minimum wage doesn't get you too far.
So, my family is running a fundraiser for me. My cousin owns an Outback Steakhouse and on June 21 we are doing a luncheon to raise money where all the proceeds will go towards my medical bills. My cousin is taking a big hit here, but that doesn't matter to him. The meal will be delicious and it will be so much fun to all be together and what not. There will be items up for raffle and it will be a good reason to take a long lunch. Just make sure to RSVP to my mom. My aunt made a flyer with the details of the event and it is at the bottom of this post.
I also realize that many of the people that love me and want to help don't live in the area. That's why this blog exists, right? So, if you'd like to help, you're welcome to donate to help me pay for my medical bills.
You can send any donation to our home:
20125 Silver Spring Dr.
Northville, MI 48167
Or we set up a PayPal account. If you set up a PayPal account you can click the 'Send Money' tab and enter in my email address, kharri12@yahoo.com . It is probably easier and more secure.
Thank you all so much for your support and love. Thank you for reading this and being a part of this odyssey. (I was going to write journey, but I didn't like it. So I looked up synonyms and odyssey came up. Kind of fitting, right?) So come to the luncheon! If you can't come and you'd still like to help then make a donation. Thank you thank you.
(Let's face it, we all take sick days for less of a reason!)
If you cannot attend the luncheon please consider a monetary donation to Katie. Make checks payable to Katie Harris.
Outback Steakhouse
6203 Orchard Lake Road
West Bloomfield, MI 48322
It's hard to forgo my pride and address this.
Many want to know how to help me. It's difficult because other than the couple weeks after my surgeries I haven't been ill. I wish it were as easy as chicken noodle soup.
Having and beating cancer is really expensive. I have started working at Dairy Queen again to fund as much as I can... but minimum wage doesn't get you too far.
So, my family is running a fundraiser for me. My cousin owns an Outback Steakhouse and on June 21 we are doing a luncheon to raise money where all the proceeds will go towards my medical bills. My cousin is taking a big hit here, but that doesn't matter to him. The meal will be delicious and it will be so much fun to all be together and what not. There will be items up for raffle and it will be a good reason to take a long lunch. Just make sure to RSVP to my mom. My aunt made a flyer with the details of the event and it is at the bottom of this post.
I also realize that many of the people that love me and want to help don't live in the area. That's why this blog exists, right? So, if you'd like to help, you're welcome to donate to help me pay for my medical bills.
You can send any donation to our home:
20125 Silver Spring Dr.
Northville, MI 48167
Or we set up a PayPal account. If you set up a PayPal account you can click the 'Send Money' tab and enter in my email address, kharri12@yahoo.com . It is probably easier and more secure.
Thank you all so much for your support and love. Thank you for reading this and being a part of this odyssey. (I was going to write journey, but I didn't like it. So I looked up synonyms and odyssey came up. Kind of fitting, right?) So come to the luncheon! If you can't come and you'd still like to help then make a donation. Thank you thank you.
Also, this is the note attached that my Aunt Kim wrote about the event:
Please come and join us to help celebrate that 'Katie is kicking cancer's keister'!
This very special woman has been a joy to so many of us and we need your help to lighten the financial burden that she has incurred since her fight against cancer. Katie just had her second surgery and is doing very well.
As most of you know Katie is a student attending a college in Utah. Funds are very limited. We are fortunate enough to have Outback Steakhouse host a luncheon on Katie's behalf. The donation price for a ticket is $20.00 to enjoy a great meal and support our beautiful girl, Katie. There will be raffle gifts that have been generously donated to help generate more money for Katie. 100% of the proceeds will be donated to Katie.
The date for this event will be June 21, 2013 from 11:00am to 1:00pm.
RSVP no later than 6/1/2013. You must call Trish Harris at 248-347-1778 to reserve your seat (seating in the restaurant is limited).
We do realize that this is a work day for most of us but, lets all BLOW it OFF and do something wonderful for a very special person. (Let's face it, we all take sick days for less of a reason!)
If you cannot attend the luncheon please consider a monetary donation to Katie. Make checks payable to Katie Harris.
Outback Steakhouse
6203 Orchard Lake Road
West Bloomfield, MI 48322
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
it's getting better all the time
Nothing significant has happened recently... things are just getting better.
My aunt is in the hospital after getting surgery yesterday. My dad and I went and visited her today. It's nice not being the one in the hospital for once. It was good to be the one sitting in the chair rather than laying in the bed. It was good to finally be able to serve someone else by visiting them.
I've been frustrated lately trying to figure out how to get better. Do I exercise? Do I lay in bed or sit on the couch? How tired is too tired for someone a couple weeks post surgery? What kind of exercises can I possibly do with my neck and back so disheveled? Today I couldn't take it any longer. Mom and I went to the gym so I could walk. I need exercise! I need movement! I walked on the treadmill for like 45 minutes watching Dr. Who on my phone. I wasn't power walking or anything, but I wasn't sitting on the couch. Little victory of the day.
I feel like I should end this post with something super inspirational. Hm... Don't take life for granted! Or more applicably... Don't take your sturdy neck and back and ability to move freely for granted! Not so catchy though... Probably won't be seeing that saying on bumper stickers anytime soon.
Picture of the day:
P.S. Can you name the song the title of this post comes from?
My aunt is in the hospital after getting surgery yesterday. My dad and I went and visited her today. It's nice not being the one in the hospital for once. It was good to be the one sitting in the chair rather than laying in the bed. It was good to finally be able to serve someone else by visiting them.
I've been frustrated lately trying to figure out how to get better. Do I exercise? Do I lay in bed or sit on the couch? How tired is too tired for someone a couple weeks post surgery? What kind of exercises can I possibly do with my neck and back so disheveled? Today I couldn't take it any longer. Mom and I went to the gym so I could walk. I need exercise! I need movement! I walked on the treadmill for like 45 minutes watching Dr. Who on my phone. I wasn't power walking or anything, but I wasn't sitting on the couch. Little victory of the day.
I feel like I should end this post with something super inspirational. Hm... Don't take life for granted! Or more applicably... Don't take your sturdy neck and back and ability to move freely for granted! Not so catchy though... Probably won't be seeing that saying on bumper stickers anytime soon.
Picture of the day:
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| Tori and I playing piano before church |
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