Thursday, May 29, 2014

cancer free for one year

I honestly forgot today was the day until this fantastic cake was delivered to me this morning.

The delivery man from the Provo Baker said he had a cake to Katie from Lisa.  I looked down at the cake in his arms and viewed one of the strangest looking cakes I've ever seen.  A face with a mask on it.

For a split second it looked like a scary Jason mask… until I read the words "Happy Anniversary!" underneath.  Today is my anniversary!  My one year being cancer free anniversary.  This is a much happier occasion to celebrate than what occurred in January.  That scary blue mask on the cake is my radiation mask.  My TARDIS.  Remember this guy?

My Aunt Lisa is so loving she remembered this day and sent me this wonderful cake to celebrate.

I ran to my bedroom and found my journal from last year under my bed.  I flipped to Wednesday 05/29/2013, and here is a piece of that journal entry:
"I'm done!  I'm done!  I'm done with radiation!  It is very surreal.  Even while I laid on the table with that beam buzzing for the final time I thought, 'This is surreal'.  In a way I'm kind of bummed.  I really feel like my radiation therapists were my friends and I'm going to miss them.
During the radiation the final song to come on was 'Casimir Pulaski Day' by Sufjan Stevens.  It's about a girl who dies from cancer.  Oh man.  That will not be me!
After radiation they lowered the table and allowed me to try and break my way out of the mask.  It's impossible.  During my radiation stimulation at the beginning of radiation the techs assured me that I would be able to.  Lies.  Lies to try and calm me while they strapped my head to a table.  At least today I tried… then gave up.  Hey!  It's not possible.
I said goodbye, hope I never see you again!  Had an appointment with Dr. Eisbruch and got outta there.  The cookies I made for my techs were a hit by the way.
After radiation I planted flowers and I came home and swam.  Now life proceeds…."

And wow.  Life certainly has proceeded since then.  I'm so grateful for my life!  I'm grateful for being alive and, especially as of lately, for truly living life.

So, words of advice to myself for the day.  Stop being complacent and go live!  You are lucky to be alive.




1 comment:

  1. so random. Just found this blog after finding a lump in the back of my head. obviously i'm hoping for the best but i'm super freaked out. It was comforting to find this blog -- as I am currently a Psychology student at BYU!! I loved your references to God. Gotta trust our Heavenly Father! hope all is well, sending loves and hugs

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