don't look at the bottom of this unless you have a strong stomach

I kind of feel like the title of this post is like a title of a Sufjan Stevens song on the Illinoise album.  Ya know, like "Riffs and Variations on a Single Note for Jelly Roll, Earl Hines, Louis Armstrong, Baby Dodds, and the King of Swing, to Name a Few".  Regardless... don't look at the bottom of this post unless you have a strong stomach.  It even grosses me out and it is my own body.  

The past couple of days have included many great progressions on my part.  That feels kind of weird to state, but really, I have felt so much better the past couple of days.  I haven't been eating much because I have felt so sick, all the time.  But yesterday my brother brought me Olga's snackers, which may be one of the most delicious things ever.  I was able to eat them and not feel sick!  I ate some more today and felt good as well.  I'm so grateful because really, I've been eating only ice and grapes and some rice.  My doctors have been upset with me and say I need to eat to leave.  And frankly, I wanna get out of here.  So, I'm glad I've found something so delicious to eat and impress my doctors with.

Yesterday Dr. Ward came to speak to my parents and I.  He said some of the sweetest things.  Really, he was meant to be my doctor, and he knew it.  He felt so guided during the surgery and everything turned out exactly as he wanted it to.  This helped me look at the big picture.  Having cancer sucks.  Having this rare cancer at age 23 sucks a lot.  But God is there every step of the way.  He guided us to find Dr. Ward.  He guided Dr. Ward.  We got one of the best neurosurgeons as well, Dr. Yang, because of his connections.  God's hand is in all of this nonsensical cancer business.  During Dr. Ward's visit he brought the final pathology report from all the tissue they removed during my surgery.  It is clean.  100% clean.  Even the scar tissue from my first surgery.  As far as they can tell the cancer is gone.  Can you believe that?  I am shocked.  And so happy.  It's gone!  Tumor board meets tomorrow and they'll say I still need radiation, which is fine.  We need to be absolutely sure that we get it all, even the tiniest of cells.  I don't want to have the cancer recur later in life.  But wow.  The cancer is all gone!

Maybe that is what gave me the boost.  Yesterday I walked without holding onto someone for the first time.  I did two laps around our part of the floor.  Today I climbed 3 stairs.  That was a bit rough.  But I did it!  I worked with PT and OT today.  They feel like I am doing really well.  I've been sitting up in a chair on my own.  I showered for the first time.  We washed my hair and found that perma-bun on my head resulted in a knot in the back of my hair that is taking hours to get out.  If we have to cut it out I am going to be really sad... I love long hair.  Plus no one wants to see the back of my neck and I would have some short hair.

Overall the past two days have been really, really good.  And we think I can go home tomorrow.  A week in the hospital was long enough for me.  And finally... some pictures from this hospital experience.

Right after surgery in the ICU

Hooked up to too many machines

Writing this blog... right now. My mom is quite the picture taker.

The picture no one wants to see.  The flap is on my neck.  They took that from the left part of my back, which is why I have an incision there.  Going up the center of my back is a drain to my flap.  Gross, I know.  At least I never have to look at it.  Oh, can't forget the cute hospital underwear.